This paper argues that traditional ethical systems, predicated on the illusion of free will, are fundamentally incoherent. It first establishes a metaphysical framework of necessitarianism, wherein consciousness is an emergent, observational property of a deterministic universe. From this foundation, it deconstructs concepts such as moral responsibility, blame, and justice as social constructs designed to mitigate the inherent horror of conscious existence. Morality is anesthesia. In place of a prescriptive morality of “good” and “evil,” the paper proposes a descriptive and functional system termed “Anesthetic Ethics.” Within this framework, a “moral” action is not one that aligns with an objective good, but one that sustainably maximizes an individual’s and a community’s capacity to cope with existence. The ultimate measure of any action is its long-term viability as an anesthetic. We conclude by exploring the unsettling but logical implications of this framework, which reframes human morality as the sophisticated pragmatism of an addict seeking to manage their own condition.